Noordam · July 18, 2027 Roll Call

A hilariously bad guide to cruise hookups, featuring unsolicited anatomy lessons, pineapple detectives and a roommate named Gary. Learn what not to do if you want your next cruise to involve mutual attraction instead of spectacular embarrassment.

Learn how cruise hookups actually happen, from meeting people before boarding to finding mutual chemistry onboard. An active cruising couple shares practical advice for singles and couples, covering first messages, pineapples, consent, and how to avoid making breakfast spectacularly awkward.

What actually happens on embarkation day, why trying to board first is a waste of your vacation, what belongs in your carry-on, and how to start the week the way you meant to.

The single supplement can add 125-200% to your fare. Here is why it exists, which cruise lines have real solo cabins, which have none at all, and how to sail alone without paying for an empty pillow.